Midaregami

There is lots of unbelievably stressful minutiae that I have to do now. If you think “unbelievably stressful” and “minutiae” are mutually exclusive sets—well, you are a much more well-adjusted person than I. I have a whole panoply of details to worry about, ranging from wedding cake-tasting to moving to Hawaii.

Yes, I changed my mind. I’m going to Hawaii. To arrive at this conclusion, I applied a time-worn rule: Given a choice between staying home and going out, always go out. In this case, the choice was “stay home” in the American West, with my good friends the Rocky Mountains, or go live on a volcano in the middle of an ocean. I may regret this decision, but I think my reasons for making it are sound. Also, Hawaii bought my loyalty—bought it cheaper than a used Russian missile launcher—but buy it they did.

I would go into detail about the agony making this decision caused me, but I’m not sure what that would accomplish. Let’s just leave it that I was happy to have made the decision, either would have been sound, and I chose the tropical paradise that offered me a scholarship. I assure you, it seems obvious only in retrospect.

The backdrop for much of this agonizing was a 2-day, 5-state, 1200-mile road trip traversing much of the continental United States vertically north-to-south. It was long, boring, and I had to drive a dangerously overloaded vehicle. I wound up staying overnight in Moab, Utah and I hate Utah. But I made good time and nothing broke on the van—nothing that wasn’t already broken, anyway—so I’ll count myself lucky.

I hate packing and moving with a newfound vigor, and stress that colors the background of my psyche like the remnants of some emotional big bang is an ever-present reminder that I will soon be packing and moving again. I will attempt to reconcile myself with this reality, as it will no doubt characterize my life for the next decade or so.

But it’s good to be back in New Mexico. I love the desert. It’s good to see some old friends again. It’s good to drive my dad’s hot-rod Fairlady Z around, start work on The Bike Project, and polish up the Ducati. Additionally, jamming with my bass virtuoso kid brother has been fun. All told, I’m enjoying time here, but I’ve also made my peace with the fact that while this is my family’s home, it’s not mine anymore—and it will be good to forge out to places unknown yet again.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 2nd, 2005 at 10:02 am and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.